Bling-Bling Bride: No-so "big" band

I loved my play one words, particularly since FH and I are old skool and LOVE the oldies music including Sinatra-era music. But this post is not about music––it is about our quest to look for the perfect wedding bands that are miraculously affordable, especially since precious metals our being priced so high these days.

The last few weeks I have struggled to find the perfect band ring. I sought out a serious of rings that I thought would satisfy my needs, including even a plain polished band.

So I started with desiring a diamond-cut band, which was apparently very hard to come by (I realized that this is more of a hammered look, but you get the deal):

SecretCharm

 

I figured with the thin band, I could get two and one on each side of the band. But when I actually tried this "brilliant" idea when we went into a department store, I wasn't excited.

Then I figured a gem band would suffice, preferably a garnet eternity band:

Amazon

 

But when I put this against my ring, I didn't like how it did not lay flat against it. I did the same with a plain gold band but it looked to plain.

Finally I found a polished gold band with a bump/swirl to it, that helped it lay against my ring better (I don't have a pic because I found that one at a jewelers). The awful thing was that it was almost $400, and since I had FH with me, an argument ensued because he wanted to buy the ring for me and didn't want to spend so much for the band. I didn't object, since my budget was max $200 per ring.

I did take this discovery back home with me and decided to research v-shaped rings. After few minutes of searching, I stumbled upon this beauty that was everything I could have imagined:

Amazon

 

Of course the biggest downside is that I don't get to try it on and may have to get it sized, but I have honestly not seen too many stores online and physical that have much variety at all. 

So then my next quest was trying to find a ring for FH. He nixed the idea of a silver band and said he would rather have a band that complimented mine. So I searched high and low for gemstone accented rings for me, but only found bulky flashy rings that are just not his style. So we settled on the ring that he picked out in person (but I found it online):

Amazon

 

Again, I hope it fits! The greatest thing about it all is that the best man offered to pay for our rings! Yippie! Granted that it is only $249.81, I am elated that we are coming well under our budget, and that hopefully we won't have to get them sized.

Bling-Bling Bride

I am probably the most excited about my mother making my jewelry (besides getting married to the love of my life of course!). I have been bugging my mother about making jewelry for me pretty much since middle school (WELL over 12 years), but she has yet to make any (though she has showered me with tons of the pre-made stuff). As a result I nominated her to do my bridal jewelry as well as jewelry for my maid of honor. So here are the ideas I came up with (as you can see I am an Etsy addict.



I think I may do just white crystals for me with some accents of purple and teal. As you can see I LOOOOOOVE the v-neck because it will perfectly line the neckline of my dress:

theKACZcollection

seDuCe

candybead

 

Then here are some ideas for the maid of honor's jewelry which will probably use teal and purple (though I think it may have to be one or the other so that she can wear it again):

 

  

beauxbijouxboutique

  

morganmcgeehandesign

  

Even if my mother is unable to recreate this wonderful designs or make her own version, I will be more than willing to support the Etsy artist.

You're Invited! Part 2

I updated the invites on the snowy-blizzard Saturday:

This is the main page I came up with (with the details hidden for privacy):

 

Here is the envelope:

 

Here is the post card (the top part is one side, the bottom the other)

 And then I did a series of layering ideas that I am considering featuring the purple accent color. Note the a the "W" you see may or may not be a die cut that I talked about in the last post:

 

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

 

Depending on what materials I find, it will determine which design approach I will take.

Finding the Perfect Photog Part IV: The Real and the "Wannabes"

As of yesterday my first interviewees, the ones who enamored me with their video-photo package, have been fired before they were hired. That's right. FIRED! (a moment of silence for mourning)

My dilemma began Saturday night when I called my mother to hatch out the positives and negatives for each of my potentials. While my mother didn't really give me much advice in terms of what to do, she did listen ever so patiently and instead tried to pull out of me what I wanted in terms of pricing and packages.

I stumbled upon the conclusion that I REALLY wanted photographs of me prepping before the ceremony (and preferably FH too, but only if a second photog was included, which would cause the price of the package to go up, since it only included four hours. I also decided that I definitely wanted the engagement session as well, which would be and addition $300. I also concluded that if I was about to drop $2,000 on photos, they better be darn good, to put it nicely. Finally, I knew that our ceremony would be brief with not a whole lot going on afterward, so we could probably cut the videography by two hours.

Their package, originally $1600 would end up costing closer to $2,200, and literally breaking the bank. My mother suggested to that I request to see more photos, so that I could at least sleep at night regarding that, and also try negotiating the price. She also said I should check out their references to be absolutely sure.

I did not sleep well at all waiting for a response (I sent the e-mail about 12:30 am last night). Here is the contents of the e-mail:


-------
I have some questions:



1. I would really like preparation coverage before the ceremony (of the bride), along with some portrait shots before the ceremony. I am thinking this will add at least 2 more hours of coverage. Is it possible to lessen the videography to only cover two hours so that we can get the two additional hours of photo coverage? We are working with a budget at $2,000 tops for videography/photography, so it is not possible to have both (we would also love to have an engagement session which adds the $250 to the $1,600). We are also willing to spare the just having one copy of the video and the photo DVD if that helps.



2. I would really like to see a couple of your most recent complete contact sheets/proofs, particularly ones using natural lighting. If it is not possible to view a whole shoot on the web, I will be more than happy to meet this Monday morning.

Thanks in advance!

----


It doesn't sound pushy does it? Doesn't it sound like a bride who is willing to drop two grand but would just like to know she will receive her money's worth? Doesn't it just sound like someone who hasn't drop two grand on anything in her entire life, especially for pics?

Here is the response:

------
Hope you survived the big snow.

here are the answers to your questions.



1.  I understand your budget- however We do not split up the time with photos and video.  We are both booked for the same amount of time. so if you wanted 2 hours of getting ready- then it would be 6 hours for both.  however, i really dont think that 2 hours is necessary.  if you are getting ready near the site- then 45 min. of final touches, getting your dress on, and shoes (and 15 min. for us to drive to valley green)- is probably your best bet given your budget.  You can get really nice portraits outside at Valley green- which are way nicer than doing inside pictures where there is tons of other things that are often in the background. since your ceremony is at 9:30- you will need to be ready to put your dress on for photos by 8:00 am and remember it will take a couple of hours to do other getting ready things like hair and makeup- which really dont make that great of pictures.  
but we can give you a discount for engagement photos and do them for $200 instead of $250. and it doesnt save us money by giving only 1 copy of a DVD.

2.  as far as giving you "proofs" to see- i dont make proofs remember- i give everyone all 800-1000 fully edited high resolution, high image quality image on a DVD. I feel like there are tons of pictures using "natural lighting" -aka- "outside"  on the gallerey on the website, the blog, and the samples i did have with me when we met.  If you want you can go to my picassa site- (i emailed you a link) and that has some of the sample folders of pictures i send to couples while they are waiting for everything to be done. so that you know- i always think that outside pictures are the nicest and turn out the best.  it is the inside lighting that is more difficult. but you cant control all of the elements no matter what outside (there can be shade areas, sun spots). this is not a photo shoot that has all the lighting artificially done even for "natural lighting" photos. so i feel, with the picassa album, that this should be suffient.

-----

I know it is always hard to tell in writing a person's tone, but an already antsy-anxious-doubtful bride can easily be driven off the deep end. This e-mail developed numerous red flags for me.

Red Flag #1
You don't split services? Umm...okay. I did have an interview with them, explained how small our guest list was, explained we are not going to have a "typical" reception by any means, and that there wouldn't be a whole lot to photograph OR video tape after the ceremony, which would probably last all of 30 minutes or less. So either you suck as a photog and use your husband to back you up with video, or he needs endless video to make a decent DVD. On top of that, why would you try to upsell me to the $2,200 package when I clearly don't need six hours of video. Seriously?

Red Flag #2
"I understand your budget..." um, hello, if you "really" understood my budget you'd honor your "we are willing to work within any budget" slogan on your website and in your brochure, particularly in a bad economy. Also, it wasn't like I was offering less than what their original package was. I was trying to negotiate the higher price.

Red Flag #3
"since your ceremony is at 9:30- you will need to be ready to put your dress on for photos by 8:00 am and remember it will take a couple of hours to do other getting ready things like hair and makeup." No s&%# sherlock. I was very much insulted. DUH! Any major event in a lady's life will take MAJOR prep time. I hate when people assume you are naive because you are young AND meek.

Red Flag #4
"...getting ready things like hair and makeup- which really don't make that great of pictures." FYI, I have seen PLENTY of portfolios that include these shots, and I happen to love them. What, is she afraid of portrait shots or something?  And wait a minute––if I am willing to pay for these shots, why would you deter me?

Red Flag #5
"...we can give you a discount for engagement photos and do them for $200 instead of $250." WOW a whopping $50 off of $2,200. BRAVO!

Red Flag #6
"and it doesnt save us money by giving only 1 copy of a DVD." Mind you I only included this line in my original e-mail in an attempt to negotiate and express that I am will to sacrifice other things to get what I really want.

Red Flag #7
"as far as giving you "proofs" to see- i dont make proofs remember." Notice I also used the word "contact sheet." A real photographer would know that I am basically asked to see an entire reel of photos from specific couple to see how the photog's overall work is, not just their "best" shots that are selected with bias.

Red Flag #8
"I feel like there are tons of pictures using "natural lighting" -aka- "outside"  on the gallerey on the website, the blog, and the samples i did have with me when we met." Umm...yeah. Most of the her photos, even the new ones she sent to me used flash (I could clearly see it in the photos) OR equally as bad, were all over exposed (too bright, which is and EASY fix with photoshop that I can even do!).

And she does go on to say: "[these are] sample folders of pictures i send to couples while they are waiting for everything to be done," but my question is, why don't you have a similar feature like that on your website of edited pics? And why are your "edited" pictures still SO over exposed even in the sunlight?

So it either means:
A. she really doesn't know what natural lighting is
B. she is not a REAL photog
C. she doesn't know how to change the settings on her camera
D. she doesn't know how to make a two- seconds fix in Photoshop to adjust the over exposure
E. All of the above.

And what takes the cake about this line is that she really didn't show a whole lot of samples in person––it was mainly a photo book of her sister-in-law's wedding, which again, the lighting was horrible. Plus she mentioned doing 50 or so weddings. Fifty weddings, yet all of the photos I've seenare "sufficient" which she says at the end of the e-mail.

Red Flag #9
"If you want you can go to my picassa site- (i emailed you a link)." The quickest way to piss off a potential or actual client is to not follow through. She hadn't e-mailed me the link. I did receive it five minutes later, but after reading the e-mail, anything would push me over the edge.

Red Flag #10
"so that you know- i always think that outside pictures are the nicest and turn out the best.  it is the inside lighting that is more difficult. but you cant control all of the elements no matter what outside (there can be shade areas, sun spots)." Sounds like a lame excuse. A real photog deals with the elements. DUH!

Conclusion
Me: Thanks for getting back to me. Unfortunately we are going to go with another photographer.



Her: Thanks for your time.That's ok. I don't think my style is what you are looking for. Good luck.

Umm...okay. If "style" translates into being an actual photog, then okay.

I  could have been mean. I could have been rude. I could have be down right nasty. But I decided to keep it sweet and short.

So why I am SO livid? Because I was actually willing to pay these people, and still would have gone with them had I not felt shut-out. I may have even nixed the videography and just gone with the photography, which was much more affordable. I just hate people who make excuses and don't try to work with you at all. If she had offered up other suggestions on working something out, I would have been more than willing, particularly since I was willing to have a second meeting. Maybe they are just greedy and would prefer a higher paid client. I hope they get what they ask for. It drives me nuts when you try to give business owners your business and they fail miserably in their approach to serve you.

When I talked to my mother, she confirmed that the semi-rude (I'm trying to be nice) e-mail could have been because she was "insulted" that I requested to see more pics. But what real photog doesn't like to brag and brag about their great work––unless they don't have any.

Again, I am not the average bear when it comes to liking photography, but I recognize what rocks and what doesn't, even if you are on a budget. And for the record, there are a good amount of photogs out there (though minus the video) that offer excellent packages that include more hours of coverage, an engagement session, and in some cases a second photog.

Brides beware. Don't get caught up in the BS just because you feel pressured to book. I am glad that I waited patiently and used common sense and gut-judgment instead of dropped $2,000 sporadically on a "wannabe."

You're Invited!

So even after a trip to Michael's, I wasn't really inspired by their scrapbook section. It seems that my teal/peacock/oasis color is hard to come by––I don't know if it's because it's such an unusual color for weddings, or because no one has decided to put out summer colors yet. I have searched high and low online as well.

Sometimes I think I am too particular for my own good. Ideally I would like a semi-shimmery teal colored card stock that I can cut into half a sheet of paper or smaller. I have already decided if this paper is truly impossible to find, my best approach is to make the invites with a teal background on the computer then print them out at Kinkos and cut them down so it looks like a bleed.

I am also fine with purchasing a DIY invites package, but only if I could find something I actually like! Ugg. I hate generic looking things that have no personality. So this is what I came up with last night (info was omitted for privacy):

 

I probably won't use this exact wording, I just wanted to see what the text looked like. My favorite part about them is the touch of purple around the edge of it. I used the colors from my original palette which include purple, sea foam, and teal. I think that I will forgo the theme, since I still can't quite decide what I want unless I incorporate the theme into the text like: "Join us near the tranquil waters of the Wissahickon river." I am thinking about a "water" theme as a play off of FH's name, but I'm still not sure. The invites are probably what I am less enthusiastic about because I really don't know for sure how they will come together.

Here is my original design again:

 

I think I want to have purple play less of a role in the color scheme and instead be more of an accent color, but if I can't find teal, then I will just have to settle with purple. I am thinking of sticking with a pearl like rose or cream color for the envelopes because those can hopefully be much easier to track down! I also want to minimize the amount of paper I use––the max four pieces, but again, it depends on what I can find. What stinks is that unless I find the paper I need, I can't really experiment that much.

More recently I am thinking of included some sort of "W" die cut in the paper that wraps around the invite, but I'm not certain yet. If I can find one, it would be one of the hand held ones I saw at Michael's like this one:

I also saw some cool rhinestone stickers that I could accent the invite with as well:

 I think that if I am not able to find the card stock, I want to give texture to my invites by using peacock feathers (or some type of teal and purple feathers), mini fabric flowers, crinkled fabric, and/or foil/shimmery paper.

I know it's too soon to freak out about the invites, but I want to have a definite idea before March rolls around when I plan to put it altogether.

 

Finding the Perfect Photog Part III: Let the Interviewing Begin!

Today I interviewed my first two photographers who were basically like night and day. I went prepared with my list of about 30 questions that I had compiled from a simple Google search "questions to ask wedding photographer and clicked on the first five links to compile a list.

The first meeting was with a couple––the husband was the videographer and the wife the photographer. They had a great photo-video package for only $1,600, which was a bit out of my original budget, but since then, I have decided that this is an area I don't want to cut corners with, especially since I am SO particular about photography and because my mother was a photographer for many years. The downside to the package was that I would have to pay for the engagement session separately, and that it only covered four hours––so if I wanted them to take pics before the ceremony, that would be extra. Also, she did not work with an assistant. The package did include two copies of digital negatives and two copies of the DVDs. While I LOVE their videos, I am NOT completely sold on the photography. While the average bride would probably be pleased with the photos (and the price!), I was not completely sold. I really like the couple because they seem down-to-earth and laid back. They are still an option but not my first.

The second meeting was with a OCD (she said so herself!) lawyer turned photographer who has WONDERFULLY crisp beautiful photos. However the wonderful photos did not overwhelm her control-freak (she also said this) aura. She chattered the ENTIRE time 1,000 miles an hour, and I don't think she fully understood the concept that I was having a SMALL wedding, so there wouldn't be a "cocktail" hour. I literally felt drained after listening to her. While I know she will be organized and on point, I don't think it will be worth dealing with her overwhelming personality. Last I checked, it was good protocol to match the speed and personality of your client, not bombard them. Just saying.

Out of the two meetings I did draw a few conclusions. First, I am considering raising my photog budget from $1,000 to $2,000, but only if FH's parents can contribute about $600 and if my mother could pitch in $500. While I am willing to raise our budget, I do feel a bit queasy about dropping so much on pics, but a super duper photog (which I have determined I do want  after all), requires some  super duper money. So this probably means we'll have to nix videography after all (bummer!), but if the package includes five or more hours of coverage, an engagement shoot, digital photos, AND a photog assistant I'm game for the bigger package, since these are all additional things I would like anyway. An added bonus would be to get at least three photo albums included, but I definitely will NOT hold my breath on that one, since good albums tend to been EXPENSIVE, at least from the photog.

For video, I am thinking about going with my original idea and just have someone run their video camera on a tripod, and that will have to suffice. I am even thinking about sacrificing my ipod music idea as well (though this is only a couple hundred dollars) and I'm even thinking of nixing a limo/driver as well if we do end up splurging on the photography. I don't want our budget to keep ballooning with less important details that aren't that major for me.

The only thing will be convincing FH that it will be worth the $2,000 on photos alone (our original plan was to hire a student photog). He won't be opposed to our parents pitching in, but he may frown a little since my mother is already contributing $1,600 for the reception, plus she's making my jewelry, AND she has to fly out here. But I have decided that we will only get married once, and besides our memories we don't have any other record to leave our children. I realize that other people spend far more on photography, but $2,000 is a pretty big deal since we wanted to keep our budget around $4,000.

So depending on what the verdict is from our parents, I will book a few more interviews with photogs that are around our new budget to see what's out there before making any final decisions.

"Ring" of Terror

FH and I spent a couple of hours browsing for possible wedding bands and we made our first stop at the Zales Outlet where I had my ring custom made. While perusing the display cases, I didn't find anything vaguely appealing and so I asked the woman about possibly getting something custom made. She said that they (Zales) didn't do any custom made jewelry––they had stopped doing it about four years ago. I was puzzled. FH had gotten my ring only two years before. I remembered vividly spending more than an hour pouring over the settings and finally selecting the perfect one, which I was now wearing. FH, overhearing the conversation jumped in and mentioned the name of the sales manager that assisted him. It turns out that the manager had been "let go" surrounded a string of investigations.

Long story short, it turns out that the manager had a history of swapping out good jewelry for lesser ones, was tied to "losing" a $50,000 delivery of jewelry, and was said to have his own outside jeweler that did custom jewelry for customers outside of the scope of company policy among a host of other accusations. Seriously? I was relieved that we hadn't decided on a diamond because I would be questioning the authenticity of it. And I know we had gotten a good deal on it because it was less than $500. But it turns out FH applied for a store card, never received it, never used it, but ended up with a balance on the card (another accusation brought against the manager regarding other customers). The store sales assistants said that they would bring the issue to corporate to be cleared up.

Needless to say both FH and I was totally perturbed about the whole ordeal. I have heard horror stories regarding all things wedding related, but I never thought that it would involve us in any way. I am glad that we have our ring and that FH's store card issue will be cleared up soon.