Guest List Wars: Part 1

After putting a deposit down a couple of weeks ago, FH and I made phone calls to our family members to inform them of our date. FH unfortunately got corned for four hours by his mother who asked a bunch of questions the groom is likely not well-versed on (like a theme, colors, etc). Also, FH being the nice guy that he is, felt overwhelmed when his mother questioned him about why he wasn't inviting his cousins and trying to guilt trip him because his cousins were like siblings and didn't really have other family (with one of their mother passed away, and their dad MIA). Ironically enough, I originally asked FH the same thing, but we decided that if we invited his closest cousins, we would be obligated to invite mine, especially since my cousins would actually be in town, while his would have to travel to get here.

His mother also was adamant about having a gathering at her house that afternoon for lunch, since our festivities would be so early and people would have the rest of the day available. FH being the nice guy, didn't make any decisions, and said that he would have to clear it with me––which translated into me having to call his mother. Awkward. FH even begged me to handle it, because it was all too overwhelming (which I thought was extra cute because he has never begged for anything). So I did it. I call my future mother-in-law.

At first I was excited at the possibility of perhaps having a bigger celebration at her house with all the family that we couldn't invite, but it turns out that she wanted to do something very minimal (so much for that!).  I explained the whole guest list situation as well and how our venue only held so many people, which she seemed to understand. I also explained that we weren't requesting our families, particularly our parents to wear our specific colors (I could care less about that, particularly since our guest list is less than 30 people anyway), which she also seemed please about.

So the fire was extinguished and FH and I were both smiling again, and relieved that we were able to stick to our decisions, and be okay with them. I am worried about having to tell my mother's family that they are invited to a later celebration. This is why I want to get our other celebration listed on the calendar as soon as possible, but until we really know our budget after the wedding that just isn't possible.

I was able to break the news to my former pastor who lives in California. I was relieved when she said she wasn't sure that they could make it anyway on such short notice. She did express that she wanted to still receive an invite for a memento. Now that was doable.