Uh Oh...Money Woes

After having a long conversation with my aunt about possible restaurants where we can have our reception, then having a text conversation about my initial research on her recommendations, mid-stream I received a text from my FH. Puzzled, and partially excited (had he found someone offering to pay the other half of our budget, like my mom offered to pay the first half), I sent a text back.

He called a few minutes later wondering where our half of the $1500 was going to come from. I didn't lose patience with him. Obviously he was stressed out because we had spoken at 8:30 earlier and he was exhausted and ready to hit-the-sack. I gently reminded him that I owed him $400 and instead of giving it back to him I would put it toward our budget. Then I would take $1,100 from my refund (which I was originally going to put aside anyway for photography and my dress budget when we were aiming for a $8,000 wedding in November) and put that aside as well to meet our budget.  I reminded him that I would be starting work in a few days, and no longer needed to save that money toward our wedding––so even if we went over budget, we could still afford to, since I would put any extra money that I wasn't spending on bills, to put into savings.

I further reassured him that we could ask our family members to pay for certain aspects of the wedding––like the cake, limo, photography etc, as their gift to us. He said that even if we meet our budget, this will still be a good idea anyway. 

He seemed relieved. We continued our conversation and what it really boiled down to was that his recent pay increase wasn't nearly as much as he had hoped and he is really adamant about contributing to our wedding––so much so that when my mother wanted to pay for all of it he refused. I think he feels bad that he has a full-time job, I don't, yet he can't really contribute. I reminded him of what he has expressed to me continously over the last few weeks––in less than six months there is not going to be two separate budgets, but one budget where we both work together to help each other. He hesistantly agreed.

I think I kind of contributed to his stress from earlier by telling him that he needed to start thinking about what his next career move was, because us getting a place together was contingent upon that. Oops! I didn't mean to scare him, I was simply uncertain about being married but having to live apart for awhile (we live 90 minutes away from each other).

I am not one of those insecure women who believes her man has to bring home all the bacon. It would be nice, but with our current financial situation, it is completely unrealistic. I am well aware of my FH's income and expenses and he barely supports himself––why should I expect him to magically be able to support me too, especially since there are so few job options in this economy? Yes, we both need to bring home more income, especially to raise a family in the future and settle down, but it won't happen overnight unless we are blessed with abundance. I am really glad to be the secure woman that I am and be able to provide the reassurance my FH needs when he's feeling insecure and/or uncertain. I wish I knew more women who do the same.