First Bride Meltdown

I mentioned before that FH lives 90 minutes away from me, which is already stressful enough since we only get to see each other once a week, if that much. Compound that problem with wedding planning. Compound that problem with trying to get premarital counseling.

Last night I became really overwhelmed when we extensively discussed who our officiant would be, and who would provide premarital counseling. I felt like this was an inappropriate conversation to have since we rarely see each other and it was a conversation that we could have over the phone. Also, the conversation was stressful after going non-stop all week regarding the reception, photography, and wedding party wear only to spend time with FH trying to perfect yet another detail.

On top of that, although I find premarital counseling a very important detail, it is really not first one my list. My primary objectives before the semester begins is securing our venue (setting the date in stone), finding a dress, and finding the photographer. I feel like once those things fall in place, I can worry about the other important details like premarital counseling, my hair and make up, invites, menu details, etc.

And finally the real nail in the coffin is the difficulty in finding premarital counseling with a spiritual component from someone who can also do our ceremony and can meet on Saturday mornings (since FH's schedule is crazy, we live 90 minutes part, and I will be working and going to school).

I finally said to FH, "I have too many other things to think about!"

He responded "Fine! Then I'll take care of it then. I will call someone on Monday to inquire."

Despite still feeling overwhelmed, I never felt so relieved. It was one less thing I had to research and worry about.  Plus because he works in counseling as a profession, he is very particular about credentials and experience––so this is right up his alley.

While the counseling is important to me, it isn't a priority right now––I know it sounds sad, especially since FH is all about building a marriage for a lifetime rather than investing into a single wedding day. But the reality is, he's not going to plan it (he simply doesn't have internet access at his place, and well, he's a guy––why should he burdened with satin teal or purple placemats?), my mom is also too busy (and would be too stressed anyway), I don't really want a planner because I am a HUGE micro manager as far as details, and our wedding is going to be in less than six months (which requires great speed and precision).

Now that I have one meltdown under my belt, hopefully I will see the next one creeping up for next time (sigh of relief!).

Dress Shopping - Bride & Bridesmaid

We didn't officially go dress shopping today, but simply perused the racks. My aunt wanted me to try on a couple of dresses, but I was freaked out because it was a Saturday (I read that this is the absolute WORST time to possible try on a dress because this is when most people go), because the place was swarming with people, and because––prep your self for TMI––I hadn't shaved my armpits recently (I know, gross girly move, but can't I get a break? It's winter!).

We mostly glanced around for the the sale prices and the styles that were available. I was very pleased to find that most of the prices were under $600, which was a huge relief considering my budget is only about $300 or so. It was also great to see some dresses in person––looking online and at catalogs just doesn't cut it as far as the detailing. One thing that would have been really useful while looking, would have been tags with a picture of what the dress actually looks like on a bride. Like with many clothes, it's hard to really envision the shape of a dress if it just looks like a big white blob on a hanger.

I was open to having ivory, I found that it was simply too dark. While I don't want a stark white dress, I think something in between ivory and white would be great. I also don't want a train since our ceremony is going to be so small––no need for a lot of extra unnecessary material if I am not planning a grandeur entrance.

I surprised myself by seeing a couple of dresses with tulle––yes I said tulle, the very wedding-y fabric I have been trying to avoid. I am very adamant about not getting the "typical" wedding dress, or extra ruffles, ribbons, lace, and bows that would be ultra girly-girl. I want something that is elegant and chic, not something I could have very easily worn in the 80s or in a princess-Cinderella fairy tale.

I again surprised myself by seeing a couple of all lace dresses, another fabric I was opposed to. I guess it depends on the type of lace and the style of the dress. I think I really like it when the style is more antique, something that I'd like to hint in my wedding (we are both old heads. Even his parents once called us old familiar souls).

I was also happy to see plenty of bigger sizes, though I may not have to try on as big of a size as I thought (18+), but we'll see. I hear the fitting can be tricky.

The only downside to David's Bridal is that while that have many different selections, they don't really have the old-timey dresses that I have seen. Check out this Michael Nolte Candace dress:

I LOVE the front and the back. She is actually wearing a jacket that gives it the key hole backing, hence why I am thinking that if I want a specific look, I may have to opt for the jacket. If I'm not absolutely sold on David's dresses, I will definitely look else where and may even go up to New York to some of the districts they have there.


Bridesmaid Breaking News
If you remember my collages from earlier this week, a black bridesmaid dress was a definite choice for me. After my aunt picked out almost the exact dress that I desired, I cringed. The dress was nice, but didn't "pop" like I thought it would. It looked dull and dead on the hanger. This is FABULOUS news to my maid of honor who said "you're going to have me in black––okay cuz" in a text message after I sent her the collages. The funny thing is that I would have never considered a black dress in the first place had I not seen some beautiful Knot wedding pictures with bridesmaids in black.

I thought it would be a great compliment to the guy's black tuxes, but it looks as though the teal (or "oasis" as defined by David Bridals) would be the better contrast. I am still debating or whether or not the contrast between the teal of the maid of honor and best man, will look okay with me and FH being in purple accents. I think if I stick with the deep purple, I'll be okay.

So excited about the progress that I am making. Maybe I'll be bold enough to make dress fitting on Monday evening if they have an appointment available?

Brides: The New Surfer Dudettes

Being a Cali girl, I quickly realized that you can't really surf in the Atlantic Ocean, hence why I am so surprised to find myself riding a monstrous Pacific-ocean wave––also known as wedding planning. Ah the woes of riding the waves total excitement to total dismay when you find something really great, then realize that:

a. it's just ain't gonna happen (excuse my English)
b. it simply doesn't exist
c. it will cost you an arm...a leg...a foot...
d. it was never a practical idea to begin with

I am definitely feeling the woes of "d." Let me back track a little bit. This week I have been SO thrilled when I discovered that the venue of my dreams was now affordable because of our extra small entourage (a.k.a. guest list of 25).  It solved the problem of parking (HUGE Philly problem), taking photos, and being in close proximity of the ceremony site. Plus only $100 deposit and required AND they had a brunch option. Fast forward to a couple of hours ago when I called the venue back to square out some important questions including would they have space to set up a buffet in the room. And the answer was NO––the room was too small .

Why do I insist on having a buffet instead of a limited menu? First off because I LOVE buffets because of the variety, because you can go up for seconds thirds, etc, and probably most of all because you don't have to wait for your food to be prepared. I have been to my share of weddings where you had to wait between the reception and ceremony or actually wait for the food to be prepared. Waiting means grumbling stomach. Waiting means annoyance. Waiting means an unhappy grumpy bride. I have a bad history of becoming an all out pouting, growling, borderline-hypoglycemic, pathetic mess. My FH is not nearly as bad, but he does get really quiet and his energy drops as well.

After mourning the idea of the buffet, I reviewed the menu again and frowned again at the lunch menu (which is too ritzy and "stuff" for me), then looked at the brunch banquet again, trying to conjure up a plan. After talking to my mother she said that it was best to be creative and ask a lot of questions about my options. She also said that I really need to make other appointments as well.

Feeling a little better, I realized that I was only severely disappointed because I had the wrong expectation. An ultra small room could never hold a full buffet. Lesson learned. So I will have to opt for the limited menu (a few choices for the guests to choose from) with pasteries served while we are waiting for the food to be made. Not ideal, but better then my sugar levels plummeting.