First Go-See!

I was elated to go to my first venue appointment (although it I was annoyed at the whole process of getting there, I almost ended up losing my credit card at the gas station). I call this a go-see, though the term is traditionally used for models. I had mixed feelings going into it (because of the whole buffet thing not happening) so I didn't really know what to expect. I told myself that the friendliness of the coordinator and the menu would be two huge determining factors.

So my aunt and I arrived and the place was as small as I remembered. It was more quaint and intimate than I remembered though. As we waited in the lobby, I peered into the room and envisioned us having our brunch there. It was everything that FH had hoped far––quiet, small, old-school, and quaint, and I was very much on board with that now, given the financial circumstances. I never dreamed of having a small wedding, but now I loved the idea of getting hitched without losing my wallet in the process.

My vision of the fireplace room was slightly shattered since they traditionally reserved the room across from it, which didn't have as much personality, but was doable, especially since it had a long table in which most everyone would be able to sit (me, my FH, and our parents could opt to sit apart from the table). I would have to redo my seating chart, which I set up for the other room (no biggie since it was less than 25 people!).

The coordinator whisked us away to a back room near the patio and bar (also very nice!). I was relieved that they still had the brunch options, would swap out the dessert for the wedding cake at no additional cost, and would charge $100 for an on-site wedding.

I was surprised by the site rental fee (which I didn't see written anywhere), that was tacked on for a Saturday. But that didn't deter me. At $30 a head and additional $375 was more than a value for what we were getting, and definitely didn't break our budget. Anyway we could always have it on a Sunday morning, which FH wasn't opposed to, though it would be hard getting someone to preside over our wedding.

Another drawback was setting up. We wouldn't be allowed to set up the night before, so either the site coordinator or someone would have to go in and set up a couple of hours before. And since we are having a morning wedding that would be a big task. I'd prefer to set up by myself because I trust my own judgment but for sanity sake I can't be in two places at once and have to simply trust that it will be taken care of. It will be my responsibility to make sure that I provide exact photos of what I am looking to accomplish so that whoever does it will get it close, if not perfect.

I was surprised that they had so few photos of actual weddings though, which was a slight disappointment. The other big plus was that the bakery that I'd be working with to get the cake, was where my aunt had purchased many cakes  in the past, so I felt really good about that.

Overall, this place is still definitely my number one choice. I love the atmosphere, the fact that it overlooks the river and is tucked away, it's small and quaint, affordable, serves brunch (breakfast is our FAV meal) and has a wonderful backdrop for photographs (a HUGE factor). Despite my itch to really nail down the deposit and a date, I refrained from doing so, heeding my mother's suggestion that I should seriously sit down and meet with a few other places, just to see if there was anything additional that they could offer.

Although I had only one appointment today, my aunt and I went to David's Bridal to look around and just those two things alone completely drained me. It was a good move on my part to not schedule more than one appointment. And surprisingly I worked up a serious appetite. I can't wait to meet with the other places :D

Are Diamonds Really Forever? - Diamond Alternatives

Most of my life I dreamed about the ridiculous $100,000 wedding and obnoxious engagement ring to the point that I actually added "huge engagement" ring to my list of things I wanted to accomplish during my lifetime. Of course I want to puke today at the thought of such frivolousness.

Two years ago I realized my greatly increased level of maturity when I told the Future Hubby (FH) that I didn't want a diamond, they were too expensive, and the diamond that I wanted would cost too much anyway. What I didn't say is that we were both poor and in an obscene amount of debt in which neither of us had a firm grasp on.

I was fortunate enough to have the FH even ask me in the first place what I desired. He was too afraid to get me the wrong thing because I am SO particular. Inspired by the imperial garnet and citrine butterfly pendant I saw in the display case, I decided to model my ring after that. I LOVED fall colors, plus we fell in love during the fall. So we spent an hour or so at the Zales Outlet while I flipped through a custom design book to select a setting. Surprisingly enough I chose a gold ring because I thought the colors would look best (I actually prefer silver). The best thing about it was that it cost less than $600, it was unique, and it had meaning.

Many times the FH asked me if I was sure I didn't want a diamond. A few weeks before we proposed we had an argument about it again because he asked if I wanted a diamond and I told him only if he wanted to get me one. Interestingly enough, I did find a silver antique ring that I fell in love with that cost about the same as my ring. But he didn't want to get a new ring after all. It turns out that he just wanted to make sure I was happy with the one I selected, and that I wouldn't frown upon it.

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Our second discussion revolved around what people would think. Would my family and other people think he was just being cheap and didn't think I was good enough for a diamond? Did I think I wasn't good enough for a diamond? Would people frown and look down upon it? Our conversation took a turn for the positive when I said that even if it was a diamond, then people would ask how could we afford something like that? We both decided that at the end of the day, no matter what anyone else said or thought, we both had to live with our decision--especially if it came back to bite us financially. It was our family. It was our future. It was about what we were building together. It was about building a marriage on more than just early possessions.

What is a diamond if your relationship doesn't last forever--financially, spiritually, emotionally etc? What is the point? Why should we get a diamond? Is it just for "show"? Is it just for tradition? Whatever your reason, I ask you to challenge it.

Okay. Enough of the lecture. Let's explore some diamond alternatives:

Birth stone engagement rings
Whether it's his, yours or a combo, using your birth stone servers as a double duty--the celebration of your life, and the celebration of your life together.

 

 

Antique Wedding Rings
Whether you find an actual antique ring at a pawn shop and/or estate sale or whether you simply aim for an antique look, you are many save money selecting this style.

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Unique Stones
Why not stand out from the crowd and wow them with these less common stones? (featured London Blue Topaz, Spessartite Garnet, Tanzanite and Rhodolite Garnet)

 

10 easy ways to slash your wedding budget

1. Have your wedding off-season.
I know you’ve probably heard of it before but it is so true. If you can, simply avoid getting married May to September, the busiest months. Make sure you avoid scheduling around holidays, though. Many companies and people have holiday parties and that can cause your prices to sky rocket and your options to be limited.

2. Have your wedding on a Friday or Sunday.
Many places will give you a bargain deal. But remember that if you have a lot of out-of-town guests, they may not appreciate having to take a Monday off to fly home. Also, I attended a Sunday evening wedding, which was very annoying because I had to turn around and go to work the next day. Keep those factors in mind.

3. Cut your guest list.
If you are being charged per plate/head, then the quickest way in some cases is to reduce your guest list. Keep in mind that there is no law that says you can’t have a small celebration now, and a bigger one in a few months or even a year or two after your big day. This may not always work though, as some places require a minimum head count or spend amount. In those situations still reduce your head count, but find another venue.

4. Have Brunch or Lunch instead of Dinner.
When I shopped around for a reception location, I found that places generally charged $10 to $20 more for dinner than for lunch or brunch. If you choose this option, make sure you know find out what restrictions they have on the hours. Many places stop serving lunch between 3 and 4 p.m..

5. Eliminate the Alcoholic Beverages.
Having an open bar or free alcoholic beverages can inflate your price per head/plate exorbitantly. Many “wedding packages” include this expense increasing the cost to and additional $20 to $50+ a head/plate. Also, keep in mind that the alcohol may have its own tax which increases the bill further. You could still keep the champagne toast and not break the bank. If you want to forgo the alcohol altogether, think of having sparkling grape juice or sparkling apple cider for your toast.

6. Look for all inclusive packages.
Try to look for package deals that include everything: food, beverage, decorations, flowers, linens etc. If possible, also try to find an in-house coordinator that can assist you in the process. This may save you tons. And best of all, you’ll have less stress trying to find a separate florist, bakery, and interior design specialist. Of course you should also ask to see pictures of previous events and ask for food and cake samples to ensure that your packaged deal doesn’t become a package nightmare.

7. DIY - Do-it-yourself.
With the Internet and television, you can virtually learn to make and do anything for yourself. This is a growing trend in the wedding industry, especially in tough economic times and people generally being sick of being over-charged for an item just because it has the word “wedding” associated with it. A number of projects include center pieces, veils, bouquets, food, desserts etc. Just make sure that if you choose to do anything yourself (or if you choose friends or family to do it for you), that the amount of stress and trouble doesn’t exceed the peace found in just purchasing the item/service. Sometimes intensive cooking could have be avoided with quality store-brought food. Also, make sure that you always have a back-up plan and/or budget and extra time just in case things don’t work out.

8. Seek out free venues.
What places can you rent dirt-cheap or don’t have to rent at all? It could be a family or friend’s home, a church hall, a club/center hall in which you are a member of, a college/university site, a park etc. Try to think of creative places where you can have your event. Keep in mind that some places like a park or someone’s house may require that you hire a caterer, tent, etc. If that becomes overwhelming, continue to seek out restaurants and other places.

9. Buy or rent a used or discounted/out-of-season wedding dress OR formal gown.
I know, this doesn’t fit every woman’s wedding dream, but sometimes the gown of your dreams is an added expense that just can’t be accommodated. Many people only wear the dress once anyway, so why deal with the stress of paying full price. If that option freaks you out (as it did with the FH when I suggested it for myself), then seek out formal gowns and evening wear that aren’t slapped with the “wedding” label, often making them much more affordable. Look at department stores that often have sales and dresses prices a few hundred dollars or much less.

10. Have the ceremony and reception at the same site.
For those who are adamant about getting married in a traditional church/temple/religious setting, you may be able to save a ton on exchanged vows at your reception site. Some places have packages allowing for this, so it may be good to take advantage of it. The great part about it, is that there is no need for limos to transport between sites. The only thing is being aware that it is awkward to invite people to the wedding if they aren’t also invited to the reception since it is at the same place. Also, you want to make sure there the site has good spots to take pictures.

Keeping these things in mind can help you set a realistic wedding budget without breaking the bank.


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Marquita Bell is the founder and product developer for The Body Buffet and lead photographer for Divine Image Photography. When she isn’t making soap or editing pictures, she is practicing more simplistic, sustainable, natural, greener living from food to spending habits. She loves sharing her frugal and simplistic adventures in hopes of inspiring others to improve their overall health and wellbeing for themselves, others, and the environment. In her spare time she enjoys refuting the term tree-hugger (how her best friend labels her) and explaining how she likes to “flirt” with veganism.

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10 Ways Why Reducing Your Wedding Budget Makes for a Better Celebration

Has your fiance ever said this to you in your planning stages: "I am afraid you're planning a wedding that we can't afford"? This could possibly become your worst fear because:

A. You thought the same thing.
B. You fear what a cheaper wedding would look like.
C. You won't have the wedding I always dreamed of and resent it (or him).
D. You realize that your combined income does not total the amount someone has spent on their wedding.

What can you do? How can you pull off a decent, not-cheap-looking, wedding that was well under $5,000, well under the reduced cost of $10,000.

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It may be extremely difficult, but you may have to listen to your gut and cut back significantly--after all, you don't want to have to take out a second mortgage or borrow again your retirement fund to pay for one day.

The is a real example of a budget a couple had initially, then the reconfigured budget that was much more realistic.

ORIGINAL BUDGET:

Wedding Dress    $500 to $1,000

Photography    $1,000 to $1,500

Rings    $500

Church    $500

Reception Hall    $1,000

Reception Food    $1,575 to $3,500

Cake    $300

Flowers    $100 to $300

Transportation    $250   

Tux    $200   to   $300

Officiant’s Fee    $100

Wedding Party Gifts    $100  to  $250

Make-up & Hair    $100   to   $400

Bachelors/Bachelorette Party    $250   to   $500

Rehearsal Dinner    $250   to   $400

Honeymoon    $1,000  to    $2,000

Invitations    $200  to    $400

Marriage License    $80

GRAND TOTAL    $8,005   to   $13,280 (based on 70 guests)

NEW BUDGETt:

Wedding Dress    $200

Photography    $250

Rings    $150

Church    n/a

Reception Hall      n/a

Reception Food    $875

Cake    $150

Flowers      n/a

Transportation    $150

Tux    $150

Officiant’s Fee    $25

Wedding Party Gifts      n/a

Make-up & Hair    $30

Bachelors/Bachelorette Party      n/a

Rehearsal Dinner      n/a

Honeymoon    $500

Invitations    $20

Marriage License    $80

GRAND TOTAL: $2,580 (based on 25 guests)

At first glimpse it seems rather drastic, but given the fact that she was graduate school student, not working full-time he worked in social services, and neither of their sets of parents wanted to pitch in, for this couple this was much more realistic. In the end, they ended up not getting married (not because of the budget lol), but there are very good things that came of this budget adjustment:

1. It reduced the amounts of guests.
You are probably wondering why in the world this is an advantage, but one of the first keys to cutting your wedding costs is to cut your guest lists, This couple's original guest list had 130. About 35 of that amount were children. The groom to be immediately eliminated the children. Secondly, they eliminated non-family members, which brought down their number to 70, which was definitely doable. Finally, they narrowed it down to immediate family plus the wedding party which brought them down to 25. Twenty-five people at even $30 a head would be well under $1,000. You might think: well what about all of the important people? The key is to really sit down and invite those who mean the most to you, not people you may not even know in five years.

2. A smaller headcount opens the doors for restaurants, uncommon spaces, and expensive venues.
Some reception venues have a very low capacity, which is great for extra small weddings. Because the you have less people, you can spend up to $50 without breaking the bank, allowing for a very elegant reception at a ritzy place that you would have not have been able to afford with a much larger group. Another added bonus is that sometimes the smaller spaces have a much lower minimum purchase requirement than a bigger place, if any at all.

3. It creates an intimate environment.
With this couple the groom wanted a small, sweet, elegant, intimate wedding to begin with, while the bride wanted a big celebration that was elegant but cost effective. She realized the reality of the situation and compromised. They were both able to sleep at night realizing that they didn't need to go into debt.

4. You don't have to worry about parking.
You now have access to those awkwardly located places that are in the middle of a busy city or that have limited parking (which is rampant in all of Philadelphia and other major cities). Your guests could carpool and you will probably save a ton on parking, if you don't receive free parking or valet.

5. Buffet or Sit Down––either one works.
There is no big deal about what type of meal it should be since either way you will save on having to hire additional waiters/attendants for your small group. You also may be able to save a great deal on the alcohol by simply ordering a few bottles of wine, rather than having an open bar for a couple hundred people.

6. Less Invitations and favors/gifts
You can either go all out in this area (especially if many of your guests or couples or families) or simply reduce the cost.

7. More time to Spend with Your Guests
Instead of wasting precious eating time thanking each of your guests individually for their attendance, you will now be able to actually dine with them if you so desire.

8. Save on Entertainment and/or sound system
Unless you plan on cutting the rug with your small group, you can forgo a dj/band/musician(s) and simply settle for background music.

9. Save on your Cake
You may be able to save a hefty amount on your cake since it is only feeding a small amount, or forgo the cake and instead opt for cupcakes, the dessert tray, or skip the cake altogether. If you aren't having all of the other festivities like tossing the bouquet, the first dance, garter toss, etc., then no one is going to look for a big to-do with the cake.

10. Save on photography
If you have a short ceremony and do all of the "fancy stuff" (cake cutting, first dance etc) at the very beginning of the reception, you will probably save a bunch in your photography fees––instead of 5 hours of coverage, you will have more like 2-3 if you can find a photographer willing to compromise. You can also always do your wedding portraits AFTER the big day. Just think, you won't have all of the nervousness and stress after the big day. You can just relax and enjoy one another, which makes for better pictures.

So the bottom line is a HUGE savings all around. Plus, if you still want to go all out, you reap the benefits of marriage AND get to save for a bigger celebration, the one that you do want, in the near future.


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Marquita Bell is the founder and product developer for The Body Buffet and lead photographer for Divine Image Photography. When she isn’t making soap or editing pictures, she is practicing more simplistic, sustainable, natural, greener living from food to spending habits. She loves sharing her frugal and simplistic adventures in hopes of inspiring others to improve their overall health and wellbeing for themselves, others, and the environment. In her spare time she enjoys refuting the term tree-hugger (how her best friend labels her) and explaining how she likes to “flirt” with veganism.