Just when I thought the cost was clear, earlier this week FH put another thorn in my side––he decided to invite his six cousins after all. DOH! I asked him a series of questions to make sure it wasn't him just folding under pressure, but he seemed to have thought it through and came to a reasonable decision. He said that even if they didn't come (especially since his one cousin just had a baby), it would still be good to invite them.
I cringed a little bit. While I love his cousins, the thought of adding five more people maxes out our guest list (I really wanted to leave a couple extra seats just in case, particularly for our officiant). Also, I liked the idea of less people, only because the room is so small. So instead of being cozy, it looks like it is going to be snug. Also, that means that I will have to account for at least three more invites, which doesn't seem like a lot, but it is if I plan on making them by hand. The funny part is that the extra costs ($30 x 5 =$150), didn't alarm me at all. It is just that with five extra guests I would have to be mindful of the additions effecting things like the number of place cards, favors etc.
On the other hand I am glad we are maxed out, because it means that we can't possibly invite anyone else, which makes it even easier to say no, since it's just not possible. It turns out that booking a small venue helps alleviate some of the common planning pressures after all. I think I will feel better about the people who aren't coming when we have more of an idea of how to include them later.
Showing posts with label small guest list. Show all posts
Showing posts with label small guest list. Show all posts
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Guest List Wars: Part 1
After putting a deposit down a couple of weeks ago, FH and I made phone calls to our family members to inform them of our date. FH unfortunately got corned for four hours by his mother who asked a bunch of questions the groom is likely not well-versed on (like a theme, colors, etc). Also, FH being the nice guy that he is, felt overwhelmed when his mother questioned him about why he wasn't inviting his cousins and trying to guilt trip him because his cousins were like siblings and didn't really have other family (with one of their mother passed away, and their dad MIA). Ironically enough, I originally asked FH the same thing, but we decided that if we invited his closest cousins, we would be obligated to invite mine, especially since my cousins would actually be in town, while his would have to travel to get here.
His mother also was adamant about having a gathering at her house that afternoon for lunch, since our festivities would be so early and people would have the rest of the day available. FH being the nice guy, didn't make any decisions, and said that he would have to clear it with me––which translated into me having to call his mother. Awkward. FH even begged me to handle it, because it was all too overwhelming (which I thought was extra cute because he has never begged for anything). So I did it. I call my future mother-in-law.
At first I was excited at the possibility of perhaps having a bigger celebration at her house with all the family that we couldn't invite, but it turns out that she wanted to do something very minimal (so much for that!). I explained the whole guest list situation as well and how our venue only held so many people, which she seemed to understand. I also explained that we weren't requesting our families, particularly our parents to wear our specific colors (I could care less about that, particularly since our guest list is less than 30 people anyway), which she also seemed please about.
So the fire was extinguished and FH and I were both smiling again, and relieved that we were able to stick to our decisions, and be okay with them. I am worried about having to tell my mother's family that they are invited to a later celebration. This is why I want to get our other celebration listed on the calendar as soon as possible, but until we really know our budget after the wedding that just isn't possible.
I was able to break the news to my former pastor who lives in California. I was relieved when she said she wasn't sure that they could make it anyway on such short notice. She did express that she wanted to still receive an invite for a memento. Now that was doable.
His mother also was adamant about having a gathering at her house that afternoon for lunch, since our festivities would be so early and people would have the rest of the day available. FH being the nice guy, didn't make any decisions, and said that he would have to clear it with me––which translated into me having to call his mother. Awkward. FH even begged me to handle it, because it was all too overwhelming (which I thought was extra cute because he has never begged for anything). So I did it. I call my future mother-in-law.
At first I was excited at the possibility of perhaps having a bigger celebration at her house with all the family that we couldn't invite, but it turns out that she wanted to do something very minimal (so much for that!). I explained the whole guest list situation as well and how our venue only held so many people, which she seemed to understand. I also explained that we weren't requesting our families, particularly our parents to wear our specific colors (I could care less about that, particularly since our guest list is less than 30 people anyway), which she also seemed please about.
So the fire was extinguished and FH and I were both smiling again, and relieved that we were able to stick to our decisions, and be okay with them. I am worried about having to tell my mother's family that they are invited to a later celebration. This is why I want to get our other celebration listed on the calendar as soon as possible, but until we really know our budget after the wedding that just isn't possible.
I was able to break the news to my former pastor who lives in California. I was relieved when she said she wasn't sure that they could make it anyway on such short notice. She did express that she wanted to still receive an invite for a memento. Now that was doable.
Monday, January 4, 2010
10 easy ways to slash your wedding budget
1. Have your wedding off-season.I know you’ve probably heard of it before but it is so true. If you can, simply avoid getting married May to September, the busiest months. Make sure you avoid scheduling around holidays, though. Many companies and people have holiday parties and that can cause your prices to sky rocket and your options to be limited.
2. Have your wedding on a Friday or Sunday.
Many places will give you a bargain deal. But remember that if you have a lot of out-of-town guests, they may not appreciate having to take a Monday off to fly home. Also, I attended a Sunday evening wedding, which was very annoying because I had to turn around and go to work the next day. Keep those factors in mind.
3. Cut your guest list.
If you are being charged per plate/head, then the quickest way in some cases is to reduce your guest list. Keep in mind that there is no law that says you can’t have a small celebration now, and a bigger one in a few months or even a year or two after your big day. This may not always work though, as some places require a minimum head count or spend amount. In those situations still reduce your head count, but find another venue.
4. Have Brunch or Lunch instead of Dinner.
When I shopped around for a reception location, I found that places generally charged $10 to $20 more for dinner than for lunch or brunch. If you choose this option, make sure you know find out what restrictions they have on the hours. Many places stop serving lunch between 3 and 4 p.m..
5. Eliminate the Alcoholic Beverages.
Having an open bar or free alcoholic beverages can inflate your price per head/plate exorbitantly. Many “wedding packages” include this expense increasing the cost to and additional $20 to $50+ a head/plate. Also, keep in mind that the alcohol may have its own tax which increases the bill further. You could still keep the champagne toast and not break the bank. If you want to forgo the alcohol altogether, think of having sparkling grape juice or sparkling apple cider for your toast.
6. Look for all inclusive packages.
Try to look for package deals that include everything: food, beverage, decorations, flowers, linens etc. If possible, also try to find an in-house coordinator that can assist you in the process. This may save you tons. And best of all, you’ll have less stress trying to find a separate florist, bakery, and interior design specialist. Of course you should also ask to see pictures of previous events and ask for food and cake samples to ensure that your packaged deal doesn’t become a package nightmare.
7. DIY - Do-it-yourself.
With the Internet and television, you can virtually learn to make and do anything for yourself. This is a growing trend in the wedding industry, especially in tough economic times and people generally being sick of being over-charged for an item just because it has the word “wedding” associated with it. A number of projects include center pieces, veils, bouquets, food, desserts etc. Just make sure that if you choose to do anything yourself (or if you choose friends or family to do it for you), that the amount of stress and trouble doesn’t exceed the peace found in just purchasing the item/service. Sometimes intensive cooking could have be avoided with quality store-brought food. Also, make sure that you always have a back-up plan and/or budget and extra time just in case things don’t work out.
8. Seek out free venues.
What places can you rent dirt-cheap or don’t have to rent at all? It could be a family or friend’s home, a church hall, a club/center hall in which you are a member of, a college/university site, a park etc. Try to think of creative places where you can have your event. Keep in mind that some places like a park or someone’s house may require that you hire a caterer, tent, etc. If that becomes overwhelming, continue to seek out restaurants and other places.
9. Buy or rent a used or discounted/out-of-season wedding dress OR formal gown.
I know, this doesn’t fit every woman’s wedding dream, but sometimes the gown of your dreams is an added expense that just can’t be accommodated. Many people only wear the dress once anyway, so why deal with the stress of paying full price. If that option freaks you out (as it did with the FH when I suggested it for myself), then seek out formal gowns and evening wear that aren’t slapped with the “wedding” label, often making them much more affordable. Look at department stores that often have sales and dresses prices a few hundred dollars or much less.
10. Have the ceremony and reception at the same site.
For those who are adamant about getting married in a traditional church/temple/religious setting, you may be able to save a ton on exchanged vows at your reception site. Some places have packages allowing for this, so it may be good to take advantage of it. The great part about it, is that there is no need for limos to transport between sites. The only thing is being aware that it is awkward to invite people to the wedding if they aren’t also invited to the reception since it is at the same place. Also, you want to make sure there the site has good spots to take pictures.
Keeping these things in mind can help you set a realistic wedding budget without breaking the bank.
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Marquita Bell is the founder and product developer for The Body Buffet and lead photographer for Divine Image Photography. When she isn’t making soap or editing pictures, she is practicing more simplistic, sustainable, natural, greener living from food to spending habits. She loves sharing her frugal and simplistic adventures in hopes of inspiring others to improve their overall health and wellbeing for themselves, others, and the environment. In her spare time she enjoys refuting the term tree-hugger (how her best friend labels her) and explaining how she likes to “flirt” with veganism.
image source
10 Ways Why Reducing Your Wedding Budget Makes for a Better Celebration
Has your fiance ever said this to you in your planning stages: "I am afraid you're planning a wedding that we can't afford"? This could possibly become your worst fear because:
A. You thought the same thing.
B. You fear what a cheaper wedding would look like.
C. You won't have the wedding I always dreamed of and resent it (or him).
D. You realize that your combined income does not total the amount someone has spent on their wedding.
What can you do? How can you pull off a decent, not-cheap-looking, wedding that was well under $5,000, well under the reduced cost of $10,000.
It may be extremely difficult, but you may have to listen to your gut and cut back significantly--after all, you don't want to have to take out a second mortgage or borrow again your retirement fund to pay for one day.
The is a real example of a budget a couple had initially, then the reconfigured budget that was much more realistic.
At first glimpse it seems rather drastic, but given the fact that she was graduate school student, not working full-time he worked in social services, and neither of their sets of parents wanted to pitch in, for this couple this was much more realistic. In the end, they ended up not getting married (not because of the budget lol), but there are very good things that came of this budget adjustment:
1. It reduced the amounts of guests.
You are probably wondering why in the world this is an advantage, but one of the first keys to cutting your wedding costs is to cut your guest lists, This couple's original guest list had 130. About 35 of that amount were children. The groom to be immediately eliminated the children. Secondly, they eliminated non-family members, which brought down their number to 70, which was definitely doable. Finally, they narrowed it down to immediate family plus the wedding party which brought them down to 25. Twenty-five people at even $30 a head would be well under $1,000. You might think: well what about all of the important people? The key is to really sit down and invite those who mean the most to you, not people you may not even know in five years.
2. A smaller headcount opens the doors for restaurants, uncommon spaces, and expensive venues.
Some reception venues have a very low capacity, which is great for extra small weddings. Because the you have less people, you can spend up to $50 without breaking the bank, allowing for a very elegant reception at a ritzy place that you would have not have been able to afford with a much larger group. Another added bonus is that sometimes the smaller spaces have a much lower minimum purchase requirement than a bigger place, if any at all.
3. It creates an intimate environment.
With this couple the groom wanted a small, sweet, elegant, intimate wedding to begin with, while the bride wanted a big celebration that was elegant but cost effective. She realized the reality of the situation and compromised. They were both able to sleep at night realizing that they didn't need to go into debt.
4. You don't have to worry about parking.
You now have access to those awkwardly located places that are in the middle of a busy city or that have limited parking (which is rampant in all of Philadelphia and other major cities). Your guests could carpool and you will probably save a ton on parking, if you don't receive free parking or valet.
5. Buffet or Sit Down––either one works.
There is no big deal about what type of meal it should be since either way you will save on having to hire additional waiters/attendants for your small group. You also may be able to save a great deal on the alcohol by simply ordering a few bottles of wine, rather than having an open bar for a couple hundred people.
6. Less Invitations and favors/gifts
You can either go all out in this area (especially if many of your guests or couples or families) or simply reduce the cost.
7. More time to Spend with Your Guests
Instead of wasting precious eating time thanking each of your guests individually for their attendance, you will now be able to actually dine with them if you so desire.
8. Save on Entertainment and/or sound system
Unless you plan on cutting the rug with your small group, you can forgo a dj/band/musician(s) and simply settle for background music.
9. Save on your Cake
You may be able to save a hefty amount on your cake since it is only feeding a small amount, or forgo the cake and instead opt for cupcakes, the dessert tray, or skip the cake altogether. If you aren't having all of the other festivities like tossing the bouquet, the first dance, garter toss, etc., then no one is going to look for a big to-do with the cake.
10. Save on photography
If you have a short ceremony and do all of the "fancy stuff" (cake cutting, first dance etc) at the very beginning of the reception, you will probably save a bunch in your photography fees––instead of 5 hours of coverage, you will have more like 2-3 if you can find a photographer willing to compromise. You can also always do your wedding portraits AFTER the big day. Just think, you won't have all of the nervousness and stress after the big day. You can just relax and enjoy one another, which makes for better pictures.
So the bottom line is a HUGE savings all around. Plus, if you still want to go all out, you reap the benefits of marriage AND get to save for a bigger celebration, the one that you do want, in the near future.
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Marquita Bell is the founder and product developer for The Body Buffet and lead photographer for Divine Image Photography. When she isn’t making soap or editing pictures, she is practicing more simplistic, sustainable, natural, greener living from food to spending habits. She loves sharing her frugal and simplistic adventures in hopes of inspiring others to improve their overall health and wellbeing for themselves, others, and the environment. In her spare time she enjoys refuting the term tree-hugger (how her best friend labels her) and explaining how she likes to “flirt” with veganism.
A. You thought the same thing.
B. You fear what a cheaper wedding would look like.
C. You won't have the wedding I always dreamed of and resent it (or him).
D. You realize that your combined income does not total the amount someone has spent on their wedding.
What can you do? How can you pull off a decent, not-cheap-looking, wedding that was well under $5,000, well under the reduced cost of $10,000.
The is a real example of a budget a couple had initially, then the reconfigured budget that was much more realistic.
ORIGINAL BUDGET:
Wedding Dress $500 to $1,000
Photography $1,000 to $1,500
Rings $500
Church $500
Reception Hall $1,000
Reception Food $1,575 to $3,500
Cake $300
Flowers $100 to $300
Transportation $250
Tux $200 to $300
Officiant’s Fee $100
Wedding Party Gifts $100 to $250
Make-up & Hair $100 to $400
Bachelors/Bachelorette Party $250 to $500
Rehearsal Dinner $250 to $400
Honeymoon $1,000 to $2,000
Invitations $200 to $400
Marriage License $80
GRAND TOTAL $8,005 to $13,280 (based on 70 guests)
NEW BUDGETt:
Wedding Dress $200
Photography $250
Rings $150
Church n/a
Reception Hall n/a
Reception Food $875
Cake $150
Flowers n/a
Transportation $150
Tux $150
Officiant’s Fee $25
Wedding Party Gifts n/a
Make-up & Hair $30
Bachelors/Bachelorette Party n/a
Rehearsal Dinner n/a
Honeymoon $500
Invitations $20
Marriage License $80
GRAND TOTAL: $2,580 (based on 25 guests)
At first glimpse it seems rather drastic, but given the fact that she was graduate school student, not working full-time he worked in social services, and neither of their sets of parents wanted to pitch in, for this couple this was much more realistic. In the end, they ended up not getting married (not because of the budget lol), but there are very good things that came of this budget adjustment:
1. It reduced the amounts of guests.
You are probably wondering why in the world this is an advantage, but one of the first keys to cutting your wedding costs is to cut your guest lists, This couple's original guest list had 130. About 35 of that amount were children. The groom to be immediately eliminated the children. Secondly, they eliminated non-family members, which brought down their number to 70, which was definitely doable. Finally, they narrowed it down to immediate family plus the wedding party which brought them down to 25. Twenty-five people at even $30 a head would be well under $1,000. You might think: well what about all of the important people? The key is to really sit down and invite those who mean the most to you, not people you may not even know in five years.
2. A smaller headcount opens the doors for restaurants, uncommon spaces, and expensive venues.
Some reception venues have a very low capacity, which is great for extra small weddings. Because the you have less people, you can spend up to $50 without breaking the bank, allowing for a very elegant reception at a ritzy place that you would have not have been able to afford with a much larger group. Another added bonus is that sometimes the smaller spaces have a much lower minimum purchase requirement than a bigger place, if any at all.
3. It creates an intimate environment.
With this couple the groom wanted a small, sweet, elegant, intimate wedding to begin with, while the bride wanted a big celebration that was elegant but cost effective. She realized the reality of the situation and compromised. They were both able to sleep at night realizing that they didn't need to go into debt.
4. You don't have to worry about parking.
You now have access to those awkwardly located places that are in the middle of a busy city or that have limited parking (which is rampant in all of Philadelphia and other major cities). Your guests could carpool and you will probably save a ton on parking, if you don't receive free parking or valet.
5. Buffet or Sit Down––either one works.
There is no big deal about what type of meal it should be since either way you will save on having to hire additional waiters/attendants for your small group. You also may be able to save a great deal on the alcohol by simply ordering a few bottles of wine, rather than having an open bar for a couple hundred people.
6. Less Invitations and favors/gifts
You can either go all out in this area (especially if many of your guests or couples or families) or simply reduce the cost.
7. More time to Spend with Your Guests
Instead of wasting precious eating time thanking each of your guests individually for their attendance, you will now be able to actually dine with them if you so desire.
8. Save on Entertainment and/or sound system
Unless you plan on cutting the rug with your small group, you can forgo a dj/band/musician(s) and simply settle for background music.
9. Save on your Cake
You may be able to save a hefty amount on your cake since it is only feeding a small amount, or forgo the cake and instead opt for cupcakes, the dessert tray, or skip the cake altogether. If you aren't having all of the other festivities like tossing the bouquet, the first dance, garter toss, etc., then no one is going to look for a big to-do with the cake.
10. Save on photography
If you have a short ceremony and do all of the "fancy stuff" (cake cutting, first dance etc) at the very beginning of the reception, you will probably save a bunch in your photography fees––instead of 5 hours of coverage, you will have more like 2-3 if you can find a photographer willing to compromise. You can also always do your wedding portraits AFTER the big day. Just think, you won't have all of the nervousness and stress after the big day. You can just relax and enjoy one another, which makes for better pictures.
So the bottom line is a HUGE savings all around. Plus, if you still want to go all out, you reap the benefits of marriage AND get to save for a bigger celebration, the one that you do want, in the near future.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marquita Bell is the founder and product developer for The Body Buffet and lead photographer for Divine Image Photography. When she isn’t making soap or editing pictures, she is practicing more simplistic, sustainable, natural, greener living from food to spending habits. She loves sharing her frugal and simplistic adventures in hopes of inspiring others to improve their overall health and wellbeing for themselves, others, and the environment. In her spare time she enjoys refuting the term tree-hugger (how her best friend labels her) and explaining how she likes to “flirt” with veganism.
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